Falling In Love

Falling in love is such a mysterious event to me.  Is it simply a combination of circumstance and opportunity?  I think you could meet the person of your dreams, but be in a bad mood that day and totally miss it.  Or is it destiny or chemistry?  For some it seems instantaneous, for others, something that develops over time.

One evening back at the end of 2003, I had plans to go to a friend’s house and cook dinner for him.  After work, I began gathering the ingredients for the night’s feast.  First stop was the wine store.  He and I shared a passion for wine.  The plan for dinner was shrimp and pasta, so I settled on a bottle of chardonnay.  My tastes are much more varied now, but back then this was a good choice.  Then on to the grocery store for the shrimp, pasta, garlic, olive oil, fresh parsley and a loaf of  bread.  With the groceries in hand, I gave my friend a call to let him know I was on my way.  There was no answer.  This wasn’t the first time I had been stood up by him, and I was more than a little perturbed at having already bought the food and now no one with whom to share it.  Then I remembered a new friend.

I had met Paula several weeks before and we were just getting to know one another.  I decided to give her a call and see if I could borrow her kitchen to prepare dinner for the two of us.  She was just getting off work, so a late dinner was perfect timing for her.  We both arrived at her apartment in the Paseo Arts District at about the same time.  As she went to the other room to change out of her uniform, I set about making myself comfortable in her kitchen.  It is always a little strange cooking in someone else’s space.

I found a pot and filled it with water. I put in on a back burner and lit the flame.  I finally located the salt and put a big palm full in the pot of water along with a bit of the oil.  While the water was heating, I poured myself a glass of wine and began the tedious task of cleaning the shrimp.  Meanwhile, Paula came into the kitchen and I could see the dark circles around her eyes and the crease in her forehead revealed that maybe this had not been a stellar day.  She was transgender and had recently transitioned while on the job as an Oklahoma City police officer.  I poured her some wine and assured her dinner would be ready soon.  After rounding the corner into her living room, she sat heavily into her recliner, the obvious weight of the day still upon her.

I finished cleaning the shrimp and put it in the fridge until I was ready for it.  I crushed 3 or 4 cloves of garlic and chopped the parsley.  I love the freshness the parsley brings to this dish.  Then I went into the living room and sat with Paula while we sipped our wine waiting for the water to boil.  She shared a little about how tough the day had been.  Back then, she was still having a difficult time on the job and her fellow officers were less than supportive.  She was on a special assignment and had spent a long, lonely, miserable day, with no one talking to her.  With a heavy sigh, she asked if she could just “chill” for a bit.  I freshened her wine and went back to the kitchen leaving her alone with her thoughts.

The water came up to a boil and I dropped in the pasta. I put the bread in the oven and heated the olive oil with a little butter in a skillet before adding the garlic. As the garlic started to sizzle, I added the shrimp.  When the shrimp was pink on the first side, I flipped them, added the parsley, salt and black pepper then turned off the heat.  By this time, the pasta was ready, so I drained it and put it in the skillet with the shrimp and oil.  I added a bit more oil and loaded our plates before topping them with a flourish of parmesan cheese.  I tore off a generous portion of bread for each of us and placed it on top of the pasta.  Not my most inspired presentation, but fine enough for an evening in front of the TV.

As I took the plates into the living room, it seemed Paula’s spirits had lifted some.  We ate, watched a movie and visited about nothing in particular.  This night didn’t particularly stand out for me.  Pasta and shrimp is one of the easiest and quickest meals you can make.  It all comes together in the amount of time it takes the water to boil and the pasta to cook.  I didn’t feel like I had done anything very special.  Later, Paula revealed to me that this was the night she started falling in love with me.  She had come home from an awful day to the surprise of me preparing a meal for her. 

For me, it was a circumstance born of a miscommunication with a friend and an abundance of perishable food needing shared.  I didn’t plan the evening, it just happened.  I believe that God brought us together.  If I had been choosing my perfect mate, I would never have thought of a transgender cop with two kids, emphasis being “cop with two kids”.   However, our union is perfect for us.  I cannot imagine my life any different now.

I remember my first moment of falling for Paula.  We were sitting in a Chili’s having dinner.  The way she flipped her hair back as she spoke made me smile.  I fell into her ocean blue eyes and have yet to come up for air.