Blue Moon Reflecting on My Mother

Friday, August 31^st is a blue moon.  We haven’t experience one since 2009 and the next one will be in 2015.  August 31^st is also my mother’s birthday. There have been 10 blue moons since her death in 1987, but none in August and certainly none on her birthday.  Although Mom is never far from my mind, this really brings her much closer to my heart this week.

A few months ago, I had the great pleasure of meeting a woman through Facebook and this blog.  Ernestine Clark and I met for the first time at Beans & Leaves.  As we sat visiting, I was struck by her upbeat personality and sweet spirit.  As our time together continued, I was struck by something else, something that almost brought me to tears.  Ernestine looks so much like my mother.  So much so that I had to go home and dig out some old photos of Mom to make sure.

The second time we met at Beans & Leaves, Ernestine was very excited about a new coffee shop that some friends of hers opened on Film Row.  We followed her over there to check it out and have some lunch.  The Paramount OKC is located on the corner of Sheridan and North Lee in downtown Oklahoma City.  This coffee shop is another wonderful independently owned business.

As we approached our destination, I realized that this intersection was very familiar to me.  My mother spent the last decades of her life working for International Crystal Mfg which was located directly across the street from The Paramount.  I have to admit that it was a bit odd to be enjoying lunch within feet of a place that my mother spent so much of her life, with a woman who bears such a physical resemblance to her.  Mom would have loved this place, I’m sure.

Mom always enjoyed trying new foods and restaurants.  Her adventurous culinary spirit is a strong part of the legacy I carry of hers.  Some of my most fun childhood memories centers on trying a new restaurant or food trend.  I was thinking of this while I planned our Leo Birthday Party this month.  A friend of mine recently introduced me to Gado Gado which is an Indonesian salad dish served with a flavorful peanut sauce. I thought this would be perfect for the party.  As I was gathering the ingredients and studying on how to make the sauce, I thought of how my mother would have so enjoyed this.

I decided on fried tofu for the protein and steamed purple fingerling potatoes for the starch.  I also steamed some baby bok choy.  I sliced some cucumbers into rounds, served baby cut carrots and mung bean sprouts raw.  I sliced a jicama into matchsticks.  Now jicama is a fun new vegetable for me.  It reminds me of a cross between a radish and potato.  It is crisp and satisfying, perfect for dipping into the sauce.  I finished by frying up some shrimp chips.

Now, I’m not sure why they call them shrimp chips as there is no shrimp involved.  They start out as little plastic looking discs and when they hit the hot oil, they expand ten times or so to these beautiful crispy chips.  That was the most fun cooking.  I called everyone into the kitchen to watch.  Yes, Mom would have really enjoyed trying all of these different new foods.

As much as she would have enjoyed the food, I know she would have enjoyed meeting all of my close friends.  I regret that she did not live long enough to see me past the struggles of my early life to my life now full of love and happiness.  I never came out to her.  I believe she would have accepted me fully, but I did not progress to that point while she was living. I wish that Mom could have met Paula, Joey and David.  She would have loved Paula and been thrilled to accept her new grandkids.  Joey especially would have been spoiled by her, I’m sure. 

The night of the Leo party was a joyous night for me.  There was drumming and dancing, laughing and singing, and lots of wonderful conversation.  There were old friends and new friends enjoying the night.  It was a beautiful experience with some beautiful people.  My mother loved a celebration and this was a fantastic celebration.

One of the biggest adventures my mother and I had together was the August that I turned 25 and she turned 50.  We went to Las Vegas to celebrate the one time that I would be exactly half her age.  Neither of us had ever been to Las Vegas and we were very excited.

We arrived at 10 pm local time and couldn’t wait to get to the casino.  We got to bed very late that night and it was still difficult to go to sleep knowing all of the activity still happening downstairs.

The next day after some sightseeing, my mother ended up at Slots of Fun and I met up with a friend of a friend who was a dealer back then.  He showed me how to play all the games and we went to several casinos.  I had so much fun touring the town with someone who knew it so well.  My luck was amazing I won at everything!  I was shocked when I realized it was 2am.

This was before cell phones and I was concerned that my mother would be worried about me.  I hurried back to our hotel.  After sharing the winnings with my friend, I rushed upstairs…to an empty room.  My mother arrived an hour later with hands blackened from feeding so many coins into the slot machines.  This woman who was in bed nightly no later than 10 pm at home stayed up past 3 in the morning playing slots.  Vegas is indeed a different world.  We had such a wonderful time together on that trip.  A little over 2 years later, she was gone from my life forever.

So, this Friday is a blue moon and my mother’s birthday.  It will be a good time to reflect on her life and how my life has progressed since her death.  I think about her legacy.  My mother was compassionate and kind.  I see this in my sister and I hope I carry some of it as well.  I want to sit on my deck gazing on the moon and raise a cup to my mother.  She was a very special woman, one that you might only meet once in a blue moon.